Mediation is a popular choice for couples to settle various issues during their divorce. Some states even require mediation before a case can go to court. Effective communication is difficult to achieve for many divorcing couples but it is crucial for a satisfactory settlement agreement. If you are going through a divorce it is important that you understand how to communicate effectively with your spouse in mediation sessions. Read below for some tips and reach out to a Memphis, Tennessee divorce mediation lawyer for skilled advice and representation.
What is Mediation?
Mediation is a conflict resolution technique where the parties involved meet with a neutral and unbiased individual whose job is to facilitate conversations and offer impartial advice. In divorce mediation the couple will meet with the mediator to discuss spousal support, child custody, child support, and property division, creating agreements for each of the topics at hand.
Tips on How to Effectively Communicate During Divorce Mediation
Although mediation is designed to include a neutral party who helps facilitate conversations, communicating effectively can still be difficult. Consider the following tips for your mediation sessions.
- Be prepared: Feeling confident and prepared will help you communicate your wants and needs. Come to mediation with a list of your goals, questions, documentation, and counterarguments to ensure you can accurately express what you want to say.
- Don’t play the blame game: Saying “You did this” or “That’s your fault” will only drive a further wedge between you and your spouse. Use “I” statements instead and avoid placing blame on the other party.
- Actively listen: When it’s your partner’s turn to speak do not spend that time planning your next statement. Listen to the words they are saying and try to understand what they want and need out of this conversation. When you both are too focused on your own agendas it hinders your ability to resolve the issues at hand.
- Don’t dwell on the past: It would be easy to take this time to air out past grievances but it will not do you any good. Stay focused on the issues at hand and what needs to be done for you both to move forward.
- Be willing to compromise: It is easy to dig your heels in and be stubborn about your wants, especially if you feel like the divorce is your spouse’s fault. However, this won’t get you anywhere. Keep an open mind and hear out their side to truly consider what the best solution will be.
- Manage your emotions: Divorce is an emotional process but try to manage your feelings during sessions. Ask for breaks when you need and take deep breaths to control your stress, sadness, or anger. You should try to think logically when making decisions.
- Manage your body language: The same way your words do, your body language communicates something to your spouse. If you are crossing your arms, avoiding eye contact, or raising your voice, it could cause your spouse to go on the defensive and hinder communication.
- Ask for help: The mediator is present to facilitate communication and help you reach an agreement. If you find it difficult to talk about certain topics or need help during the process, do not hesitate to ask the mediator for guidance and assistance.
